They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Now it’s been a while since I’ve written, so it’s highly possible I’ve talked about this before. Which, hello, pretty much supports this definition. How many people find themselves in the same situations year after year? Taking off the same 10 pounds. Putting on the same 20 pounds. Spending your free hours torn between creating art and binge watching The Great British Baking Show, until the week before an event when you scramble to catch up. Promising yourself you will start to exercise and breaking the promise every weekend as you watch your significant other strap on his workout gear from under the covers. Putting money into your savings only to take it out again when bills need to be paid and you’ve been living ever so slightly beyond your means. Watching other women you admire and wishing you could be like them and knowing you could if you just applied yourself. Didn’t we all have parents and teachers who told us we could be whatever we wanted if we just applied ourselves? And does it make me a bad person if I don’t f@&*^ing feel like applying myself? If I can’t run a marathon, or climb a rock wall, or hoist myself up off the floor? If I’m not the Broadway actress I hoped I’d be? If I can’t seem to live up to the mantra, “nothing tastes as good as thin feels.”? I hope the answer is no, cause as I write this, there’s a Krispy Kreme donut hanging outta my mouth. Donuts. Donuts taste as good as thin feels, apparently. The real question is if I’m going to keep banging my head against a brick wall, can I live with the headache?

Losing My Mind

carynjune