This weekend, there was a mini-reunion of Pitt theatre department alumni in Pittsburgh. This included a tour of the three theaters, two which have been renovated since I left 31 years ago, and one which wasn’t even there in my day. I had hoped to go, but in the end, financial concerns dictated otherwise. Friends who went have been posting pictures which has been a real treat. And yet…I have been hungrily perusing the pictures with a mix of teary-eyed smiles and a little pain in my gut. I have the most wonderful memories of being part of the theatre community at Pitt. I belonged to something extraordinary and truth be told, I probably did the best work there as an actress that I would ever do. I miss that much more than I realized. And it always shocks me to realize that more than 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye. I know I’m not alone when I believe at 18 or 21 that I am going to live forever and time spreads out in front of me like the limitless ocean. I look at my nieces with their whole lives in front of them. I want to give them all the advice my dad gave me. But I didn’t listen to him and they won’t listen to me. It is a right of passage to listen to our elders and then turn around and do whatever the hell we want, to look ahead at time spread out in front of us like the limitless ocean. Will there come a time when I don’t get that little kick in the gut at how much of that ocean is now behind me? When I don’t feel a physical ache at dreams I didn’t pursue? I hope so. There are dreams yet undreamed. There are seas not yet explored. And every drop is precious.

Our Burdens Wear Wings
carynjune