Things I Know

  • If you don’t pick up your feet, you will trip on the stairs, and your venti mocha frappucino light will land on the floor with such force, splashing up  and over you, leaving you standing there dripping, like Carrie at the prom. 
  • If you wait 40 years to apologize to someone you believe you have wronged, chances are they won’t remember. 
  • If you don’t watch where you are going, you will run smack into the sign on the subway platform. 
  • If it’s Monday, you will hate everyone. 
  • Conversely, if it’s Friday, everyone is your BFF. 
  • If you do something embarrassing, thinking no one is looking, someone is looking. 
  • The things that you hate the most in other people are the things you do all the time.  
  • You can’t get what you want just by wishing on a star.
  • If you listen to your parents and put $5.00 in the bank every week, you will have a lot of money when you are older. 
  • “They say you gain 10 pounds every 10 years” is not an excuse to eat doughnuts and ice cream all day. 
  • 2 pounds of cherries is not a piece of fruit. 
  • If you are a socially awkward, cranky and shy child, chances are good that you will be a socially awkward, cranky and shy adult. Just fatter and more wrinkly, and maybe just a little more interesting. 
  • Money can totally buy happiness. 
  • While you are pondering how homely the woman in front of you is, you will trip and fall on your face. 
  • Stepping on a crack will not break your mother’s back. 
  • You know a lot more than you think.  
  • You are only as ”         ” (fill in the blanks), as you think you are. IMG_0049Step On a Crack


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