Ok. This isn’t working for me. While expressing gratitude is a wonderful thing, doing it publicly because I am influenced by what others think is an easy fix and something I do a lot. My blog is about finding balance for myself. Between conviction and cranky. Between want to and have to. Between what I feel and how I deal. I am angry. I am pissed. I am furious. I am doing the best I can in a world I created. I’ve been blaming everyone and everything for my own choices. I am lucky. I had, I still have choices. Not everyone does. It’s easier to blame circumstances, life, the universe. I made choices. Rather, I sat back and let the choices be made for me. I waded around in the river and let life get caught on my arm, wrap around my ankle like seaweed. I made a choice a week ago influenced by others. $@#%^* that #%^**+@!!! (See swearing, day 4). Don’t get me wrong. I cannot sit back and let the rage run the rest of my life. But until I can figure out who or what I’m so angry at, I’m gonna throw a tantrum now and then, cuss like a sailor, write what I feel, laugh too loud, cry a little, love a lot, sing and dance a bit, and create pieces like this….
…when the world is telling me people will only buy this:
And as for gratitude? The people I love who love me know how grateful I am for them, even when I am letting the freak flag fly.