Tomorrow is my 60th birthday. I have spent the better part of the last 6 decades, and most of this blog complaining. Whining. Griping. Muttering under my breath and cursing the heavens. It has taken me years, eons, epochs to figure out the only thing standing in my way to complete and total peace is me. That I can change enough in my life to make that life exactly as I want, but wishing for someone else’s life is futile. If my career path is not satisfactory, I can change it. If I want to. If I’m not happy with the financial situation I’m in, I can budget. If I want to. If my weight and my relationship with food is making me miserable, I can eat healthier, I can exercise. I can explore what’s really going on with my therapist. If I want to. If I feel, sometimes that I am not Jewish enough to fit in with conversations in my synagogue, I can study. I can take classes in Torah. If I want to. But here’s the flip side. It’s completely ok not to want to. I have heard many times that Happiness is a choice.  Chances are being thinner, being richer, having a career that is the envy of all I meet, and being able to converse with a room full of rabbis is not the only answer. The answer, the real and true answer, is to look into both sides of your heart. The side that wants and the side that has. To accept the side that wants but never gets. And cherish the side that has exactly what it needs.

Little Bit, Heart Series

carynjune