Running on Empty

Years ago, when I worked at Red Lobster, (yes, I worked at Red Lobster. I was the Queen of Red Lobster), there would be nights when I would get so in the weeds that I would stand at the line waiting for something, and every synapse would shut down. I just could not figure out what to do next. I was a good waitress, a great waitress, but sometimes I just got overwhelmed. Those were usually the times I would snap at someone and they wouldn’t talk to me for months. I know, hard to believe, right? It’s almost 30 years later and I’m not a waitress any more. I’m marginally better at holding my tongue. I’ve found strengths and joys I didn’t expect. But. I’m overwhelmed. I’m in the weeds. I’m outta gas. See this?

This is the regulator for my acetylene tank. I finally found a place to exchange my empty tank for a full one. Weeks ago. By now, I should have attached this and started work on some commissions. I have not. See this?

Hasn’t moved since I started working on them in November. And of course, there is this.

This is the stationary bike I bought several months ago when my doctor told me I needed to lose weight. The only reason there are no clothes hanging off it is because my cleaning lady was here this morning. Oh, please. Like I’m the only one who has gym equipment that doubles as a coat rack. And didn’t I know that this is where we’d both end up? But I digress. It is obvious I am in a creative slump. I wish I could say it’s the first one. Not. And undoubtedly not the last. So. Here we are. Metal and machine whispering at me, taunting me. Daring me to rise above and create! Move! Break free of the slump, the inertia. Or I could just watch another rerun of Family Guy.

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