Bend, Don’t Break

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Scarred Willow carynjune

So, I’m at this deli near my office and I’ve just picked up a container of mango slices instead of the peanut m&m’s I really want because I’ve convinced myself I’m being “good”, ( a word which should be struck from the dictionary, by the way). And I come in on the tail end of a conversation about kids between the cashier and a man of 60 or so, who says to the cashier, “oh your kids aren’t old enough. “. Then he turns to me and says “yours are “. Now, I don’t even know what he’s referring to. Old enough to go to school? Drive? Vote? Have kids of their own? But I’m pissed. What I really want to say is “you @&^%*#ing piece of @&$#*^! Why would you say that to anyone, you insensitive @&%#^!” What I actually did was mumble , “nope, no kids…”, return the mango and buy a bag of peanut m&m’s. Thinking about it later, I wondered why, when confronted with reality, as insensitive as it might be on the other person’s part, we often fall apart and into bad habits. An elderly customer asked me a couple of years ago if I was expecting.  Seriously? I thanked her for assuming I was young enough to have kids and told her no, I was just fat. The truth was…is, I’m 30 pounds overweight. The truth is, I’m certainly old enough to have grown children. Why does that hurt so much? And while I can’t turn back the clock, I can turn to an apple instead of a bag of peanut m&m’s. Bend, Don’t break.

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