It never ceases to amaze me how conditioned we become in our responses to different situations. For instance, you have a bad day at work. One person might strap on their tennies and go for a run, one might meditate, or call a friend to vent.  One might dive into a good novel or a bag of m&m’s. See what I did there? If you read fast enough, you’d never even see the m word. The point seems to be not the m&m’s themselves, but the smoke and mirrors around them. My husband knows all about my penchant for eating an entire box of skinny cow ice cream bars in one night. He once caught me pulling a box of chocolate-covered cherries from behind my pillow. Yet, I still tiptoe into the kitchen and verrrrrry quietly open the freezer, pulling out the ice cream like I’m playing Operation, trying all the while to avoid the crinkling wrappers which will surely give me away. Now, while my husband tries to explain to me that I should have only one piece of candy a day, for the most part nobody cares what I eat or how much. Why the abra-cadabra of it all? Do I really believe that if I hide the candy or chips or ice cream that I’m not actually eating them? The thirty extra pounds I’m lugging around like a giant purse would suggest the secret’s out. Someone once told me you gain 10 pounds a decade. I’m finding this to be almost true. For me, it was 10 pounds a year. I’m a big show-off. The things I did to take off 40 pounds in 6 months when I was 32 don’t work anymore, and that frustrates me. A friend at work lost some weight and is sporting new, smaller size clothes and that aggravates me. My body is completely different than it was 10 years ago and that pisses me off. So, the way I see it, I have two choices. Will I use the frustration, and aggravation, and anger to push me into finally taking control of my weight, eating right, exercising, working towards a goal…or will I go gently into that good bag of m&m’s?

Over Indulge carynjune>