Let’s, for a moment,  take a little detour off of the come back trail that leads to Star City and head to a little place I like to call What the F^**@ ville. As I am sure I am not the only one to discover, one of the side effects of menopause is the onset of sleep deprivation. No matter how sleepy I am, within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, my right foot is tapping and I am awake. Not just awake. AWAKE!!! I’ve tried everything. Valerian Root. Opening the window. Closing the window. Blankets off. Blankets on. Back, Stomach, Side. Pillow flat. Pillow up. Pillow tossed in garbage and replaced with more expensive pillow. Meditation, (makes my heart pound), 4 7 8 breathing, (gives me a panic attack). Last night I decided to Google “soothing sounds”. I found a site that had different types of nature sounds. Birds…Thunderstorms…Nature Mix, which is basically Birds in a Thunderstorm… A Crackling Fire. (Now, I’m hot and awake). And the one they said was the most conducive to sleep, Waves. So I put on my headphones, press “play”, and close my eyes, anticipating the gentle waves lapping at the shore. What I get is..not that. What I get is crashing, loud, better hold on to something so I don’t drown in the tsunami that’s about to carry me off to Davy Jones Locker. It’s worth mentioning that this selection is actually called “Sleep”. Seriously? It should be called “Lack of Sleep”. Or “Anti-Sleep”. Or maybe “This ain’t no time to sleep, fool!  Run for your @#^*in’ Life!” I read. I check out the midnight happenings on Facebook. And eventually I fall asleep. Tomorrow, when the alarm goes off, all I will want to do is sleep. On the train, I will be out. Head against the window, mouth open, probably drooling, REM sleep out. At my desk, my eyes barely stay open. Train ride home,  ZZZZZZZ. I droop over dinner. I snooze in the shower. I nap through General Hospital. And as soon as I turn out the lights?  I’m running for my @#^*in life.

DUCK!

carynjune