No Sudden Movements!

I like to think I’m as bright as the next person, but truthfully, I’m either a complete moron or someone is gaslighting me. Seriously. Something really ridiculous is going on here and it’s driving me a little crazy, which as anyone knows is not a long drive to begin with. WTF, people! Let’s just start out by saying I’ve lost two train tickets in three days. Not just dinky little metro cards. Oh no! Monthly train tickets. With a metro card. That cost $365.00. Every month. Every single month. Except this month. This month it cost me $969.00. Because did I mention I’ve lost two? The first one on February 1st. Yep. I used it once to get into the subway, and when I I turned my phone around to take the ticket out of the handy little pocket I keep it in? Empty. Gone. Vanished. Empty out my purse, but it is never gonna find it kinda gone. Do I cry? No. I’m gonna suck it up. It happens. So I shell out another $302.00; I’m saving $63.00 because they don’t sell the kind with the unlimited metro card in Port, I have to go into Penn Station for that. F#%@&^* that. I’ll take the one they got. So now I’m real careful. I move my phone into a more secure part of my bag. I’m super-cautious when using my phone, always checking that my new train ticket with the very limited metro card is in the handy little pocket on the back of my phone. Uh huh. And today, when I leave work and take my phone out of its new very secure part of my bag and check the handy little pocket on the back of my phone? Gone. Vanished. I’m thinking it just fell out of the handy little pocket and is at the bottom of the very secure part of my bag! Yes! I see it! Oh wait. That’s the expired one from January, cause apparently that one sticks to me like glue. Really. It’s kind of hilarious, no? Do I cry. Oh yeah. Big ugly tears. I go back to my office to see if I lost it there, but I don’t see it and I’m about to miss my train, for which I do not have a ticket, so I empty my bag. Again. Nothing. Well, not nothing, cause there’s that &$”%^*-&$@^#*ing expired ticket from JANUARY! So after my sweet hubby calms me down, I decide to go to Penn Station so I can get another monthly with an unlimited metro card, which as it turns out is a complete waste of time because they don’t sell them there either. “The only way you can get that is through Mail and Ride”, he says. “I know that”, I say “that’s where I got mine, but I lost it.” I don’t tell him I lost it twice. It’s too embarrassing. So I pay another $302.00, take my new monthly train ticket with a not unlimited metro card and put it in my wallet behind my drivers license. A very safe spot. Expect now that I have to take it out umpteen times a day, let’s take bets on how long it takes me to lose my entire wallet. Namaste. NAMASTE


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